8 years ago…

My mom passed away. I was 16, my sisters were 15.

It’s been 8 years, but that hasn’t changed a thing. Losing her was unexpected. Losing her was hard. It still is.

I miss her. I love her… and I always will.

Please keep my family in your thoughts today and offer up a prayer if you can.

love, scout

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44 comments
  1. Laurie said:

    Hi Scout – I was drawn to your website by clicking on a really cute brand and I noticed your most recent post and it blew me away. My mom just passed away on December 1, 2009. It was after a short illness but difficult illness. I’m having a lot trouble with it and so is my older sister. I am 50 and she is 50 something! I just thought it profound that you had that post because everywhere I turn I find articles or people that have experienced the death of a parent recently.

    Your other post indicated something about wanting to be around Christians – another tap from God on my shoulder. He talks to me in all different ways – music, internet, books, billboards, etc. He wants you to know – you are indeed loved by him and you are reaching out to Him now just as He expected. Why do you think you have been depressed lately? All you need to do is, instead of asking for friends who are Christians, simply reach UP to God. Get a Bible, an AMPLIFIED version if you can. Read 1 John. (First John). Then get down on your knees for some knee mail. Pray – pray to God – tell him you’re back and ready to confess and accept Jesus into your heart as your Savior. Ask Him to guide you to the right friends who will encourage you. Ask Him to forgive you for your sins. Ask for the Holy Spirit to be with you as you go along your day when you are tempted to fall back into sin. Ask God to protect you from the attacks of the devil – depression, etc. Once you drift back with Jesus, you won’t need to separate your friends into two categories. They will just see a great shining change in you. God Bless.

    Laurie

    • I appreciate your post. I am sorry to hear of your recent loss. It is hard to lose someone close, no matter what age.

      As far as salvation, I have already asked Jesus into my heart and I have been a Christian for years. I don’t believe that you have to repeatedly ask for salvation or that you can lose your salvation. I know the Lord is there. I pray to Him regularly, despite how distant I feel. I know that I need Christian friends to help in my growth. Other Christians play an important role I believe. I do know that the Word and God should be the main sources before I seek earthly advice, etc. I have done that. I definitely am not trying to separate my friends. I don’t have a lot of friends that I see regularly. That is why I was reaching out here. There are so many friends I have begun to make but haven’t yet had the chance to really talk to them about where they stand spiritually. Whether or not they share similar beliefs, they will stay my friends same as always. I love everyone I talk to here and feel like they offer a lot, spiritual or not. I am really happy I posted this because I feel like I have given others the courage to speak up and say they are in the same place. Others have told me that they see the Lord through me, whether I feel like He is near or not.

      I am excited to be at this point. I don’t want you to think by the length of this reply that I am offended or anything by what you said. I am not. I just wanted to let you know that I do consider myself a Christian already and wasn’t sure, by some of the comments you made, if you realized this. However, I really appreciate you being nice enough to offer your guidance. :)

      I don’t know how much it means to you, but I will be praying for your family and you as you go through your grieving period. As hard as it is, it can be a beautiful time in retrospect when you weigh out what you learned and how you grow. Please let me know if you have more specific requests. My email is erinsunday3.5[at]gmail[dot]com. :)

  2. MJ said:

    i thought about you this morning when i was getting ready for work, and i stopped and said a little prayer for you. i didn’t know why, but i felt compelled to. i even sent you an email this morning telling you that you were on my mind. now i know why.
    sometimes bad things happen to good people, but i’m a firm believer that it’s always for a reason, and plays a part in God’s plan. i can’t even imagine how hard losing a mother is, and especially at such a young age, but i’m sure she’d be proud of the woman you’ve become.
    you and your family will all be in my thoughts and prayers this week as you remember and celebrate the life of your mother.

    love you :]
    m

    • Thanks so much, girl! It meant a lot when I saw that. I cried actually. haha It seems silly now, but I am still really glad I have you as a friend.

  3. Carol said:

    Praying for you and your family today

  4. Kelile said:

    I’m so sorry. Keeping your family i my thoughts and prayers today for sure!

    Often times, I feel unsure of how to respond to things like this, because the truth is, I know how you feel. However, in no way do I want it to sound like what you are feeling is any less than what it is. What I mean, is that I can relate (sadly) and I hope that maybe in knowing you and your family are not alone, helps in some crazy way. I lost my dad 9 years ago. I was 14 I believe and being pretty much an only child it was extremely difficult and I still am dealing with emotions and feelings from it, mostly due to the fact that I felt like for so long I was in it alone. It’s weird how after so long the pain is still there, sometimes it still hurts like it did that horrible day.
    I guess what I am trying to say (in a long-winded fashion) is that I know how you feel and because of that you and your family are very much in my thoughts and prayers. While I know you have family (and probably friends) to be there for you, listen to you, and make sure you never feel alone in this, as a blog friend, I too am here, should you ever need it.
    God bless,
    kel

    • Thank you so, so much. Really. I am sorry to hear that you went through the same thing, practically. Please know you can email me any time. ANY TIME.

      • Kelile said:

        ditto!!

  5. Sending you big hugs! You and your sisters are in my prayers today. She’s very proud of you. No doubt about that. And I can tell that she was an amazing person just by knowing her daughter and seeing how amazing she is. xoxo

  6. amy lapi said:

    wow, E, i didn’t know this. i’m sorry to hear this. i can’t imagine wha tyou must be going through, but i’m always here for you. if you need an ear, a shoulder, or a hug! i will come there! :)
    and ditto to what jamie said.
    love you.

  7. janel said:

    sending lots of love your way :)
    you and your family are definitely in my prayers!
    i love you so much.
    xo
    janel

    • I love you, too! The prayers helped. It turned out to be a good day. :)

  8. sarah said:

    “the Lord brings death and makes alive; He brings down to the grave and raises up..” – 1 samuel 2:6

    praying for you guys today.

    • Thank you! Your prayers helped. It was a good day for us. We were able to be more grateful for the time we had than sad for the times we won’t have. :)

  9. rosa said:

    I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I have no question that your mom was an incredible person considering the type of person that -you- are. It must be hard to go through so many important stages of your life without a hug or a phone call from your mom, but I’m certain she’s been watching over you and your sisters and keeping you company all the time.

    I will definitely say a prayer for you and your family today on this difficult day. She loves you; she always has. :)

    -R-

    • Thank you. She was a very strong, courageous woman. We are grateful she didn’t suffer any more than she did and that we had her as long as we did. Your prayers helped a lot. :)

  10. Lehua said:

    sending you lots of hugs!!

  11. Katja said:

    oh. i didn’t know :/ and i don’t know what to say. it makes me so sad :(

    and i think, it’s very very brave to share your sadness.

    big hugs out to you, and kisses.
    katja

  12. Alicia said:

    Thinking of you today and hoping that you can take some time for yourself, to reflect on the experiences you shared with your mom. I cannot imagine how much strength it required to go through adolescence without her by your side; I’m certain she is watching over you and helping to guide you in your life.

    • Thank you so much! I was able to take a little time to remember her. She was very special and still is. :)

  13. JenCoen said:

    I can’t even imagine… You and your family will most certainly be in my thoughts and my prayers today. xoxo

  14. Nerea said:

    I’m so sorry Erin…
    lots of kisses and hugs from Spain!!

  15. Astrid said:

    I know what you mean, although I was ‘lucky’ to be 37 when mine passed away. You girls where soooo young. Mums are so special. I’m happy for you that you have such good feelings about her.
    Wish you all the best, and a HUG (big one) for the pain in your heart.

    • It’s never a lucky time, sweetheart! It is hard at any age. My mom was very special and I have so much respect for her. Thank you for your kind words. :)

  16. Allie said:

    Hey baby girl…. I’ve been thinking of you and sisters all day today. I loved your momma and I love you always!!!

    • Thanks. It would be nice to SEE you sometime soon. Let me know when that can happen. :)

  17. I know I’m a little late on this, but I’m praying for you. I lost my dad almost five years ago, so in a way I can relate. You’ll continue to be in my prayers.

    • :( I am sorry, dear. If you ever need to talk, you can email me. loves!

  18. Laura said:

    I never know what to say in times like these, and I’ve been thinking since the day you posted this. I’m really sorry for you and your family’s loss… I can’t tell you I know how you feel because I really don’t but I did lose someone I love very much a year ago and I do know I still hurt a lot. I want you to know that I’m here for you whenever you need me. I love you Erin!

    • I am so sorry for your loss dear. Death is hard, no matter who or when. I love you. Know that I am here.

    • Thanks so much. The prayers helped us a lot and continue to.

  19. Larissa said:

    Hi, I’m very new to reading your blog and am usually quite shy and don’t comment, but I feel compelled to write something now. I’m just not sure what. I’m so sorry to hear that such a sad thing has happened to you and your family. I lost my mum coming up 3 years ago, when I was 17 and I’m not sure I really understand how I feel. I can imagine that your 8 years would have gone by far too quickly. Thank you for sharing, and know that I’m thinking of you, even though we don’t know each other =) xo

    • We don’t necessarily need to know each other. Please know you can email me any time if you need to talk. I went to your blog. You seem like such a sweet girl. Thank you for your comment. I hope we keep reading and talking. :)

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