Tell It On Tuesday, Week 10

Happy Tuesday, folks! How has your week been so far?

Oh, what was that? How was mine, you ask? MUUUUUCH better. :-)

That isn’t what I wanted to share, though.

I have been doing some thinking today, about this past week and my life in general. I wanted to make this post as part of an apology post. A lot of you have been such great friends to me, even without knowing me that well. The gestures and actions that you have shown bring me to tears as I think about them right now. I have been truly touched by you and consider you some of my greatest blessings. I barely had to do anything in order for you to befriend me and show me love. That speaks volumes considering most people I used to call “friends” only contact me to get something out of it or talk about themselves. Because you have been so wonderful to me, I feel it only necessary to apologize for not returning the favor. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or even act indifferent. I know I have been very distant and have let circumstance take precedence over friendship. That is completely uncharacteristic of the person I desire in myself.

I also really wanted to apologize if I bothered anyone with my depressing attitude about things. I was just… sad. I get that way sometimes and just can’t shake it. However, it is my personal battle and I shouldn’t be so open about how my burdens affect me. So, I have decided to make a real effort at being more of a happy person. I want to bring out more of the part of me that loves life and dwells on the exciting things happening. Sure, I have a ton of stuff that can get me down every day. I have a long way to go before I will be where I want to be. However, I can’t look at it that way. Instead of throwing up my hands in defeat, I need to put those hands to work, building the road to get me where I have decided I want to go.

These words are not excuses but serve more as a simple apology and explanation. You don’t need excuses out of me, just a friend. I want to offer that. I want to hear about your life and KNOW you. The main reason I started this blog was to make more friends who loved what I love. I know I can’t expect out of you what I don’t offer myself.

This way of thinking sounds so encouraging as I write it, but putting this into action day to day is a challenge that I know I will struggle with. So, this is where I am asking for you to come in. If you talk to me and I am being negative, hold me accountable! If I have ignored you, whether intentional or not, HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE! Throw me a thought that will push my attitude in the other direction. If I call you a friend, you should already be doing this. I want to make sure that you all know that I welcome accountability and know that is the sure-fire way to make sure I continue to strive to become a more complete, joyful person.

[For those of you who consider yourselves to be Christians, I could use some encouragement there as well. I really want to seek out a relationship with the Lord like the one I once had (only better). I want that to be something that helps make the change I am wanting in myself. I have a strong opinion against cramming my beliefs down my friends’ throats, especially if it is not welcome. However, having some friends with similar beliefs that I can talk to in addition to  friends I share other common opinions, interests, etc really helps day to day.]

I know that you may see this as coming out from nowhere. No one prompted this. There was no huge fight or any drama. I just remember a time when people referenced me as being this upbeat, happy girl who was such a great friend and encouragement, super thoughtful, etc. I remember a time when I saw that in myself. I miss that girl. I hope to become a woman that reflects that girl, only improved, this year. I also hope that you will share in that journey with me.

(Photo credit: Will)

Thank you from the deepest parts of me for everything you’ve given me so far. To all who this applies to. You know who you are. I love you all.

Now… LET’S GET EXCITED ABOUT THINGS!!! :-)

love, scout

Advertisements
70 comments
  1. Everyone gets down now and again… and sometimes venting is all you can do to get through it!!! Glad things are looking up and getting back on track! Congrats again on getting the apartment!

    • Thanks! We are SOOOOOO excited! I can’t wait to move in. We already bought a couch and chair and are looking at TVs and vintage tables!!

  2. Kellie said:

    I can really relate, so im glad you shared this, it makes me feel like im not alone in feeling just sad and also in wanted a better relationship with God. I really have been struggling and working on that for awhile….

    also, i mentioned you/your blog in a post of mine, thought i would share in case you had not seen it….. http://getthewordsout.blogspot.com/2010/01/happy-101-award.html

    • Thanks for mentioning me and thanks for sharing. I have a hard time being able to visit everyone’s blogs. I apologize if I don’t visit often enough. If you would ever like to talk outside of here, feel free to add me on facebook if we aren’t already friends or you can email me. :-)

  3. erin sunday, i want you to know that i adore you. God gave you the sweetest, biggest heart, and it shows in everything you do. you have brought so much sunshine to my life just by being who you are.

    i want you to know it’s ok to be real, and have “down” days! your true friends will stand by your side even when you are down and times are hard. ESPECIALLY during those times. press on, love.

    peace.

    xo

    – chanelle

    • I love you so much. Thank you for this. I can’t wait to meet you, seriously. You almost just made me cry. :-)

  4. i mean every word, and more. i might start crying myself. i cannot WAIT to mee you and will someday. let’s make that SOON.

    :’)

    stay the sweet dear heart that i know you are. things will look up. you have lots to be thankful for!!!
    <3

  5. Hey Erin, I know you don’t really know me, I’m an old friend of Will’s & I check in on your blog from time to time & you’re pretty amazing.

    I’m glad that things are looking better for you & Will. I know how frustrating trying to find a place to live is. Awesome that things are moving forward there!

    Don’t worry about hiding your personal battles as if they’ll turn people away. You’re not going to be rejected because of your vulnerabilities, or being “sad” if that’s how you’re feeling at times.

    We all get sad. It’s real, it’s who we are. But we own up to it and move through it. And you sure seem to be doing that :)

    As for your faith, do you have people you can talk to about that? I know Will used to be very spiritual, I just don’t know him well enough anymore to know if that’s still the case. Do you have some sort of faith community –boo buzzwords :(– or group of friends you can go to for that?

    I’m sorry that you’re looking back on your relationship with God and wanting it to be like it used to be, or better. I know that very very well.

    I’ll try not to be such a lurker on here, if that’ll help ;)

    • Thanks SO MUCH for your comment. :-)

      Will is a great encouragement, but we do not have that community/group of friends that we can really turn to right now. We have talked about how we would really love to find a small Bible study or small group to meet with and gain some friendships. We don’t want to try finding a “church” at this point, though.

      I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I know we don’t know each other right now very well at all. However, I don’t believe that has to be a prerequisite to being there for someone. ;)

      Yes, don’t lurk! Let’s be friends!

      • I don’t think it’s a prerequisite either. :)

  6. :) erin said:

    Coming from one Erin to another…we all have ups and downs in our life and stuggle to find our true self. Sometimes no matter how hard we try to put things into words we just can’t get out what we really want to say or how we want to say it. It’s nice that you just vented, and your real friends understand. Although I don’t know you and have just started reading your blog I want to say I appreciate your honesty. It’s refreshing.
    And on an uplifting note…so is a new place. Peel of your old skin and start a new. Sometimes designing a new place is really the best medicine. good luck to you and would love to see some pics once you have it all laid out.
    Happy Tuesday!

    • Thanks SO MUCH! It is really good to hear from people who don’t know me well yet. I am really looking forward to decorating the new place. We already bought a couch and are looking at some other things to buy. We are both ecstatic. I agree that it could be just what I need and you can be sure that I will post plenty of photos. :-D

  7. Laura said:

    There’s no need for you to apologize. We all get down and if you don’t express it; it could lead to worse feelings. I don’t mind hearing you out and giving my opinion (if you ask for it) or just listening and being a friend. Even though we haven’t met IRL, I consider you a FRIEND. :)
    I can’t wait to see you become the woman you want to become… I’m here for you no matter what and hopefully soon we’ll meet whether in NY or in Springfield.

    Love ya!!!!

    • Thanks so very much, Laura. I feel as though we are friends as well. I will definitely let you know if I am going to be around your parts so we can meet. :)

  8. emjay said:

    erin sunday, I love you! I really, truly do! I love how open you are and I feel blessed to have you as a friend (I do fall into that category, right? ;). ) I hope we can get to know each other better this year :) and as for your walk with the Lord, I have been experiencing something similar I think, and I’ve been wanting to get back on track, but it can be hard w/o encouragement. If there is ever anything I can do for you, or if you ever need someone or something, you know how to reach me :) I can’t wait to hang out with you soon!

    xoxo
    em

    • Oh geeze! All of you are going to make me cry. ha! I am so happy we are friends (of course we are, silly). Know I am here for you. I am pretty sure you knew that, but I mean it. Especially if you need encouragement emotionally, mentally, spiritually, whatever. I love you, girly! So happy I will see you soon!

  9. You’re a sweetheart! This post is way encouraging to me. Some of the thoughts I’ve been thinkin’ about myself as of late too. I’ll help you if you help me, haha. Loves.

    • Definitely! Feel free to email me through facebook any time you want to talk. If you don’t have facebook, I will give you my email address. loves back!

  10. Tyler said:

    Hey Erin, I think we’re going through pretty similar things right now. I too am trying to come back to my faith in God that I have neglected and struggled with for so long now and allow His love and grace consume me again, forever. We’re all human, and it sucks sometimes, but I believe we can help each other down that road. You’re in my prayers and I hope that the things I say and write will serve Him and uplift you and others that read my posts too… Oh and everybody gets sad! I’m trying to be more positive in life too and I think rebuilding my relationship with God helps that immensely. Regardless, we can talk about sad things whenever there is a need to get it out :) Keep on keepin on and put your weaknesses in His strength…you’ve always been my friend!

    • Tyler, you already know I think you are awesome. I am happy we are friends again and can uplift each other. We need to talk soon! So sorry I have been busy. Miss talking to you!

  11. Mandy said:

    Erin Sundayyyyy you are awesome :]
    I know we don’t know each other extremely well, but you’ve always been so nice to me and a lovely friend. I am so blessed to have met you and I’m looking forward to getting to know you more and becoming awesome friends!
    As for being a Christian, I feel very similar to the way you do. I’ve kind of focused all of my attention on other things and have let my relationship with God falter and be put on hold. If you ever want to talk about anything or need someone to just listen I am totally here!
    Love you bunches!
    xoxox.

    • I love, love you! We seriously need to hang out more often. Please? I am actually very relieved to hear that you know what I am going through and that we live in the same time. Thanks for being such a sweetheart. I think we could be great friends if we both can find the time. :)

  12. Shieri said:

    hello, miss erin..

    i’d like to tell you that i adore you very much. you are very pretty, very talented and, best of all, you have such a beautiful heart. even though we’ve never spoken in person, but i’m so pleased to have met you and looking forward to getting to know you much more.

    i definitely think it’d be so cool if i could have you as my *awesome* friend! :)

    loves, xoxo

    • Oh wow! Thanks so much for the compliments! I have to say that I really needed to read your comment. We can definitely be friends. I can always use more! :))

  13. I just wanted to tell you that it’s ok to have down days. No one expects you to be sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time…because that’s not real. And someone who truly is or wants to be your friend knows that real friendship blossoms in the bad times as much as it does in the good. Though I completely support your effort in trying to change your thought process into a more positive one, because I am also working on this part of myself as well. :) Good luck to you and can’t wait to read more about your journey.

    xo
    sonya audrey

    • Thank you so much for your encouraging words. While I know it is a natural human response to be sad at times, I am just trying to achieve a better attitude in general. I am so excited that you have such a good head on your shoulders that you realize what a true friend really is. You seem like such a wonderful person to know. I look forward to us talking more. :)

  14. vera said:

    Dear Erin!

    You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself! I know i used to be. Except who you are and be happy with yourself :) Have faith that you will find your self again, but you have to work hard to get there….You’ve got so many talents girl!

    I think more people should open up about themselves.
    When i was 18 my ex boyfriend had cancer (still living :)) & i noticed that a lot of people where afraid to ask you how you are doing, don’ know what to do or aren’t really interested at all. I noticed a lot of things that i didn’t before & mostly who your friends really are :) When you see someone down the street and they ask you how you are, mostly they just want to hear ‘fine’ and move on… how sad is that?!

    I tweeted a few times with comments on your headaches.. that wasn’t to be a girly know it all thing, just advice! When i was 18 i had a lot of stress from different things and i had a lot of migraine attacks. One day i went to see an osteopath (don’t know if i wrote it right?). I wasn’t allowed to eat sugar anymore, no alcohol etc It helped!! I don’t have migraine attacks anymore.
    I do eat sugar and drink from time to time, but not to much ;) It really was a combination of things (stress, sugar, eating habbits). I ended up married with the osteopath ha ha who is that :D

    What helps me:
    -meditate/affirmations
    -‘you can heal your life’ from Louise L. Hay, is a great book!

    Hope it helps… sweet Erin!!
    XO.Vera

    • Thank you for the suggestions! I so appreciate your care for my well-being. You are seriously soooo sweet! I know I probably shouldn’t be so hard on myself but it is how I have always been. On a day to day basis, I am pretty nice to myself. :)

  15. vera said:

    lol i just saw that i wrote something wrong…
    I ended up married with the osteopath ha ha how is that :D

    XO.

  16. Johanna said:

    I am so right there with you girl! No apologies necessary! If you saw my blog post from Monday you’d see the similarities in out emotional state as of late {eek!}. Prayers for you & walk!

    • I just read your blog post from last Monday. It was written so beautifully! Thank you, dear. :)

  17. Carol said:

    Hey Erin! I know you don’t know me but I look forward to reading your blog. To me I think you have a positive attitude. It’s ok to have down days as long as you can bounce back up and realize how wonderful life can be! I know when I feel down, remembering all that God has blessed me with makes me realize I have more to be happy about then to be sad about! Thank you for always being an encouraging person even to those that you may not know! You seem to be a real sweetheart!

    this is off topic but is that a smiley face at the bottom of your page? I just noticed it and even if it isn’t… it made me smile! haha! :)

    • Thank you so much, Carol! It is so encouraging to hear things like that from people I don’t know YET. I am so excited to be talking with you. I hope to talk with you more as time goes along. :)

      YES! It is a smiley face. :)

  18. skunkboy said:

    You know I’m here to smack you in the face. Really. Any day. Be ready. ;D xo

    Oh, yeah… and I love you.

    • Ha! You always know exactly what to say. I love you as well, dear dear girl.

  19. janel said:

    Oh Erin, how I love thee:)
    All of these encouraging words are amazing! What a blessing. Isn’t it crazy how people can build these amazing relationships with people we haven’t even met through these blogs!
    love love love.
    Anyway, to the point, in your blog, in your pictures, and in person, I see God shining through you soooooo much!! Your kind heart and your giving heart and your loving heart speak volumes.
    So, even if you find yourself struggling for that closeness with God that you once had. I see Him there with you at all times, working through you. That’s all you have to know. He’s there, and He’s ready whenever you are :)
    Also, I saw your tweet about the couch and chair and I squealed when I read it!!!
    Soooo excited for you two!!!
    love love
    xoxo
    janel

    • I’ll have you know, you made me cry! Your words mean so much to me. It is something I had not realized at all and it is the exact encouragement I need to start fueling me to get a move on. I love you so, so much!

  20. Dear Lovely-Amazing-Awesome-Erin-Sunday,
    I just want you to know that I think you’re an awesome friend. I’m blessed to have you in my life. I can’t wait to hang out again soon!!!! I’m always here for you, whether you need to vent or need some encouragement or anything.
    I second what Janel said. God is always there for you with open arms. We all get down and lose our way a little bit sometimes. But the great things about true friends is that they’re always there for you no matter what. I love you, Erin!!!! I’m so happy that you guys found an apartment AND that you got a certain couch that you had been loving!!! That’s so wonderful and I’m so happy for you!!!
    I already commented on Will’s post because I saw it before this one in my reader but I absolutely looooove this pic of you!!!! Gorgeous!!!!
    Love you,
    xoxo -j

    • Thank you for always being there for me. You have been such an amazing friend and an inspiration to me. I love you very much!

  21. ails said:

    Hi Erin!

    yep i haven’t seen your name appear in my email since december but it’s ok. :-) i follow your blog and i understand how busy you have been. looking for a new place to stay is pretty tiring and sometimes the mixed emotions of excitement and apprehension with your new apartment is very stressful.

    i hope you can now find peace and happiness. Becoming more aware of my surroundings and every living things in there give me sunshine and butterflies. That kind of awareness brings me closer to my creator and it never fails to inspire me and provides me with my much needed solitude. I hope that it will also work on you when you feel so low.

    and also remember that even if we’ve only known each other online, i’ll always be a friend. :-)

    love,
    ails

  22. vivianna said:

    its ok to have a few down days- I have been going through a hard time myself. that is why i have not been blogging.
    I love you!

    • I know it is. But I have noticed that if I am not careful, those few days turn into months. I just want to make a point to enjoy my life as much as I can and not lose sight of the good. :))

  23. kimsunday said:

    love you sis. excited to see this. excited for you. you know my number. :o)

  24. Hang in there! I’m glad things have gotten better… =)

  25. sarah said:

    hey girl. i really enjoy your blog and from one Christian sister to another, I just want to encourage you to hang in there. and PRAY. seriously, sometimes I think we forget all too often how much prayer can do. the bible says that if we ask, we will receive (maybe not always in the way we thought we would, but still..) God is there for listening and for so much more than just a random guy to believe in. i’ll start praying for you as well. and if you’re trying to seek out the Lord more, just keep at it, pray a ton about EVERYTHING, and be patient for the answers. jeremiah 29:12-13 says: “then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. you will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.”

    the Christian life definitely isn’t an easy one, but getting back on track isn’t impossible!! you can do it :) you’re in my thoughts!

    • Thanks so much for the encouraging words. It means a TON! I am praying a whole lot. I know He is there. Thanks again. :))

  26. AlliT said:

    I know we are just friends on twitter, but I do love your blog and have always thought you were an upbeat and happy person… We all go through so many more hardships in life than we expect, but I think it is how you handle them that matters the most. Reaching out and asking for other people’s help is a HUGE step. One that is most admirable… Take care and if you need a friend for any reason, spiritual, silly, or otherwise I am here and now you have my e-mail address…
    ~Allison

    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate that you let me know that you think I am upbeat. We all have those crazy thoughts in our heads that no one else hears. Those thoughts like, “Will it ever get better?” make me think that I am not as upbeat as I would like to be. :) I am trying to see the positive and I have people who have been awesome! I hope you know that you can reach out to me as well. :)

  27. lesley said:

    so, i just stumbled on your blog today from another one and thought this was so encouraging. i don’t know you at all, but i know it stinks to be down. i’d been in a bad mood for a few different reasons and finally got sick of it. so, decided to change that. :)

    i live in springfield, and i’m just assuming you do too…
    i don’t know if you have a church you already go to, but i go to stonebridge church. it’s a great place with lots of great, loving people to be surrounded by. let me know if you’re interested and i’ll give you some details.

    • Hey dear! Yay for Springfield friends! I know we don’t know each other right now but I would love to meet you or something. I am not a big fan of how the “typical” church is set up currently. I honestly feel it is a waste of my time and efforts when I get nothing out of it but social satisfaction (if that). I do enjoy fellowship with other Christians and definitely feel that it is one of the main ways I grow in my walk and relationship with God. So, if you are interested in meeting sometime, let me know! I can always use a new friend. :))

  28. Jackie said:

    aww erin! we all go through good and bad days and sometimes writing out our feelings on our blogs is the easiest way to get happy again! i love how supportive blogger friends can be!

    i don’t know you but i consider you a friend! and i’ll totally be here whenever you need someone to vent to!

    but i’m glad things are looking brighter for you and congrats on the apartment! :) xoxo

    • Thanks so much! I am really excited that you consider me a friend. :))

  29. margot said:

    you’re a sweetie, and you ARE a good friend. it is funny, isn’t it- how sometimes people you never met (or met once super briefly) can be some of your favorite people?
    life is funny. i’m not religious at all, like um, at all but i think you taking any effort to make yourself feel better about you is amazing.
    i’m proud you for posting this! no come visit me please! we can bond lol! :-) love ya!

    • Thanks so much, Margot! I love you so much! You definitely are one of my favorite people even though we don’t talk very often. I may just end up in your town very soon and I would love to at least have coffee with you. :))

  30. amy lapi said:

    you are such a beautiful person and a wonderful friend.. and i definitely see you as happy, friendly, upbeat.. i don’t think being sad/down/pissed/depressed/ takes away from your personality at all. and i can’t wait to give you a great big reallife hug. loves + kisses, A

    • Aww, thanks! And yay for meeting in person!!! :))

  31. lisa said:

    I found this post very moving despite not even knowing you. I think people being sad makes me sad.

    I have had my ups and downs myself and I guess we kind of forget our friends during our low points. But, it seems to me that you have many friends who are there for you. Sometimes, I have found in my life, friends just need to be asked to help as they don’t want to interfere and the likes. So to me, this post is asking and telling your friends you need them :)

    Good luck with everything.

    • Thanks for your comment! I do have some really great friends. :)) Don’t be sad, though! Things seem to be looking up for the moment. :)

  32. jes said:

    if you want a better relationship with the our father in heaven that is better than the one you had before you should read this book its called “God is closer than you think” it by John Ortberg its really good puts a lot of things in perspective. and if you have questions you can always email me
    much love and blessings
    jes

  33. Reading your blog just reminds me of all that we go through. I can totally relate to what you have been feeling…..You are such a beautiful woman and you have so much inner strength already and more just ready to blossom out of you. You have a compassion and love for people and what you are doing that is so amazing! Your strength to go through all you have and on the other side of it chase your dreams and soar in your passions is beautiful in and of it’s self. I know we haven’t kept in touch a ton but I am so blessed to have reconnected with you. You are a beautiful woman with an amazing spirit and talent. We all have our days that we are feeling depressed/sad/angry etc but in the end facing those things don’t make you any less strong rather I believe it makes you even stronger.
    so with that I send many thoughts of love and pray that you will continue to find strength in the wonderful blisses of life and even in the crappier parts too…Love, Elise

    • Ahhh! Elise! I love you! That gave me such encouragement. We need to talk more soon. PLEASE.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s